How to do a Realtime text without leaving home!!

              A Poverty-Stricken Diskmag editors guide!! 

Many of you will have noticed the exciting and up to the minute reports on the Symposium Event as given by DBA and many other people, including us.. It is great fun being at these big events, not so much fun coping with the expense of it all.. A meal for two costing the price of a small house, even a humble can of coke giving the likes of NASA pause for thought (and a stiff giggle to most German shopkeepers..)

Many diskmag editors indulge their hobby, simply because they don't have much money to do anything else.. For them, an expensive foreign holiday is simply out of the question.. However, for these people, we present the Do it Yourself compilation remix guide to enable you to build up an entirely convincing realtime 'party-text' in the comfort of your own home whilst keeping your diskmag editor credibility intact..

*THE RULES OF THIS GAME* Just mix and match the following sentences to your taste, in order to produce a fully customised realtime article.. For obvious reasons, place and people names will have to come from your own knowledge of the scene or imagination.. In case you are worried about possible libel action from disgruntled attendees, it is a known fact that most coders never pay any attention to the *contents* of your diskmag, just the pretty shell program!!

Happy fictionalising!!

Sentence one..
"The organizers succ, what happened to the minubus!?!?!? See ya
later!"

Sentence two..
"Greetz to all worthy peeple, seeyall."

Sentence three..
"God I'm facked, i've been up since three the previous morning working
on *insert own name*'s game/demo/ratracer/modplayer routines, and only
three hours sleep since!!!!! *Insert own name here* ROOLS!!"

Sentence four..
"The pizza tastes like brick and the coke like spew - great!!"

Sentence five..
(Something in german - don't forget to specify at the beginning that
your text is 'English language only..' - get those obscure foreign
contributions rolling in..)

Sentence six..
"Just been to the toilet and had a really good dump, know all is well
with the world.."

Sentence Seven..
"Just saw *insert name of choice here*'s demo/intro.. They were
ripping off our source from a year ago and still got 1st prize..
Lamerzzz!!"

Sentence eight..
"Hot news! Some f*cker just widdled in my sleepingbag! Have to dry it
out and kill whoever did it!"

Sentence Nine..
"*Insert name here*'s Falcon just blew up and reset itself.. Trouble
is, it had all the sourcecode for the 'Who gives a f*ck' demo which
was to be released at this party.. Now our coder is having to do it
all from scratch again!!"

Sentence ten..
"*Insert name here* has just been for a dump, blocked the toilet
probably, the way he was farting last night.. Made me want to spew!!"

Sentence eleven..
"Just played *Insert name here* at Super Slug Raiders on his
PlayStation.. He kept winning.. PlayStation? Playstation?!?!? Sony
Gaystation more like.."

Sentence Twelve..
"IM TIRED 123456789 SECONDS OF SLEEP SINCE LAST NIGHT!! BEER RULEZ!!"

Sentence thirteen..
"The muzikk compo suckks!! Hour after of shitty teckno mods.
THUMPTHUMPTHUMP!!"

Sentence fourteen..
"Why doesn't mum come and read me a bedtime story?!" - A bit tongue in
cheek, this one..

Sentence Fourteen and a half..
"Got hassled by the local pigs. . Me & th PosSe tried to ramraid the
offlicense and they didnt like it one bit.. Hope they dont come to
bust dis kool party.."

Sven-tence Fifteen..
"Verde grobble blurt thing.." Or some other semi-coherent Swedish words
to that effect?)

Sentence Sixteen..
"AAAAAAAAAAAGH ITS THAT GODAMNED CHIPZIK AGAIN!! STOPPITT!"

Sentence Seventeen..
"GFA Suxx - Assembler rulEZ!!"

Sentence Eighteen..
"Why da Fuck cant the organizers get thier shit together, the demo
compition was surposed to be HOURS ago?!?!"

Sentence nineteen..
"Meduim res desktop is shit, why do anyone use it on the good ol' Falcon??"

Sentence Twenty..
"All from this hip-hopping poo-plopping *Insert name of party* party
for now.. See ya around!!"

CiH for DBA mag - 7.4.96 (Live at Symposium, ee' fancy that mother!)

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