Random Impressions of New York

(Autumn '07, the revenge of the wedding of the Felice!)

Why did my first attempt at getting that down come out as the 'Weeding' of Felice?!

In a year where we didn't get to do much travelling, there was one stand-out trip, not at all demoscene related, but interesting because of the destination and circumstances, so here it is, some random impressions, some time after the event, from a failing memory, of the big trip to New York, to attend the Marriage of Felice!

Prequel..

The original inspiration came from the other 50% of this pending marital combination, Paula, generally known in online circles as Danie aka 'Danie', who favoured an overseas location, because A: It is something different from the dull sounding traditional English wedding complete with drunken dad-dancing at the reception, and B: Only the truly dedicated would make the trip out, eliminating an awful lot of peripheral hangers-on and hopefully leaving family politics behind making disappointed noises to itself in the airport departure lounge.

Anyway, when Danie has an idea, it tends to happen sooner or later (Felice knows that only too well!), and a date in October (Wednesday the 17th) is set. At quite an early stage, it is decided that Nicky and I will be going along as chief bridesmaid and best man respectively. Must check and really make sure I got the order of that right, otherwise people will think this was one of those bizarre cross-gender weddings or something!

Felice and Danie got some prior inspiration from a holiday they had together in New York, where they got engaged in the first place, so it seems that they should know something of the locality. Also rather handily, the bearded Branson man's holiday company, Virgin, has a package designed for such an event. The ceremonial deed even has a place for it reserved in the Empire State building itself, on those days where King Kong isn't crawling up and down it for the benefit of the tourists, one presumes?

So fairly early on in 2007, a specific date and flight and hotel are organised for the happy still unmarried couple, Nicky and I book separately through her dirt-slow dial-up internet connection, and it is with some relief that this job is done!

Travel.. (Wednesday and Thursday)

And we're off, Nicky and I travelling down together...

In the first instance, down to darkest Surrey near Guildford, a part of the world in which it is rumoured that Mr Pink lurks. Where we are to stay with the parents of Danie overnight, before catching the big beardy operated metal bird flying to New York the next morning. Well we managed to get there, in spite of the stunningly un-verbose and misleading multimap instructions. We lose the trail in Guildford, but manage to pick it up again soon after. We pass through Surrey, a place of perpetual forest and house names hinting at properties hidden in the undergrowth. It's a bit like an upmarket version of Hobbit-town. They just don't do streets and numbers there for some strange reason. We arrive at the correct location and do the usual meet and greet thing, a thoroughly pleasant evening precedes a fairly early but not unreasonable start the next morning.

A little smidgen of tension to start with, as we managed to get ourselves ready with plenty of time to spare, but the taxi is not quite so ready, and we are waiting a little while after the ideal time for it to get to us, so we don't have a panicked journey to Heathrow. The taxi does arrive, we climb in quickly and set off. Shortly after, we burst out of the dark forest into daylight, only to confront a sullen morning mass of barely moving M25 motorwayÉ

Our taxi driver is a man of much resourcefulness and many shortcuts, as he dives into a parallel road system which is supposed to take the construction traffic and other authorised people for the newly built terminal 5. and manages to get us there on time after all. We gratefully grab our bags and cases, plunging into the crowded chaos that is the Virgin Atlantic checking in desk where several jumbo-jet's worth of people are trying to negotiate the system without much visible success.

Many minutes pass, with small signs of movement, and eventually we hand in our bags and are free to negotiate the stringent anti-liquid security checks to get airside. I correctly guessed these people were not chosen for their sense of comic timing, so I wisely did not ask if a bladder full of wee qualified as a dangerous liquid. There is not a lot more to tell, Heathrow being insanely busy and with nowhere to sit down, and it was a relief to get onto our big red 747.

The Emperor Mong (see whole other article in this issue) is in charge of the seating arrangements, the distinct sour odour of cock-up wafted through the air vents as I am located on my own, several rows down from the rest of the party. Virgin was supposed to be able to provide for pre-booking of a better seating plan where we were all sitting together, but this didn't come off.

The journey itself was pretty painless, we left more or less on time. A big factor that helped were the copious entertainment options, apart from the not very state of the art computer games. I reverted to being a big child by watching Shrek 2 (Happily ever After) with some classic episodes of that classic history made funny series 'Blackadder' for afters. But under no circumstances, not the series 4 episode 'Private plane'!

Approaching JFK, we put aside any uneasy thoughts of hostile action or friendly fire from a trigger-happy homeland defence, and the aircraft gently nuzzles downwards into the waiting clouds of a roller coaster thunderstorm thing. In spite of the aircraft's wild gyrations, the pilot does a top notch job of putting just the right amount of plane, at the right sort of downward velocity, onto the runway. A good start to our arrival in the USA!

The escape from a humid and thundery JFK was very protracted. This was not helped with the girls constantly rewriting their visa waiver forms, possibly to disguise criminal intent? A security guard takes pity and waves us through into the US citizens return channel, so we miss the worst of the vast immigration queue and have our first encounter with the dreaded 'DHS' (NOT the Dead Hackers, but the Department of Homeland Security!) It appears the feared and loathed rottweillers guarding America's entrance gates have had some customer relations training, as they were seemingly very friendly and let us in without any awkward questions being asked.

The rain is just about coming to a stop as we find a taxi able to take all of us, an efficient queue marshalling system helping here. A long hot slow evening in nose to tail New York traffic taxi ride to our hotel follows.

Roughly an hour later, we arrive at the Hotel Beacon, on 75th and Broadway, Upper West Side. We find a scene of faded elegance. The hotel is in the middle of refurbishment, but it turns out to be quite good enough with decent sized rooms and comfortable furniture. We are overlooking Central Park. I suspect when the refurb is completed, that the prices will move upwards out of the budget conscious tourists range.

For the rest of that first evening, the girls have had enough and collapse in a bedward direction, but Felice and I manage to summon the energy to explore the immediate neighbourhood for a quick burst of convenience store style snack food. Well we must endeavour to bring a little of the demo party ambience to New York!

The very next day, Friday..

We're not particularly bright, nor particularly early..

It is our first full day to start to explore the vastness of New York city. It is bright but very windy, which leads to swift comparisons with Chicago. The first and most urgent item, especially from Danie's point of view is a breakfast stop at Arties Delicatessen on 2290 Broadway (at 83rd Street) in case you want to try it. I think you should...

Arties can be described from their website thus..

"Artie's Delicatessen, which opened October 1999 as a tribute to Artie, heralds the comeback of a heritage almost lost. Overflowing with hanging salamis, house cured corned beef, pastrami made from a secret recipe and other traditional deli meats, it is a nosher's wonderland. And Artie's hand made hot dogs and knishes from the grill are not to be missed. Yet Artie's wine list is contemporary; the service staff is young and knowledgeable and the music up-beat and hip. Artie's a New York style delicatessen done with true New York style."

My description would be a place providing classic Yiddish megadeath from calories cuisine, a perfect breakfasty start which *almost* presented me with a logistical eating challenge in the form of a cream cheese and salmon bagel that went on forever, but people who know me well will realise that I won through in the end! (And helped certain others out when their portions got too much!)

Nicely full, we opt to destroy our digestion with lots of walking, a mile of so of which gets us to Times Square, which is where we pretty much spend the rest of the day around. We get to personally experience the 'being on a film set' ambience of the NY streets.

Quite a bit of shopping and looking around at touristic stuff follows, some are leaping around and purchasing clothes with gay abandon, but my wallet does not start to loosen until we get to the Virgin Megastore on Times Square. This has a small surface presence but many many basement levels, which makes you wonder if it has some emergency role as a bomb shelter. However, no bomb shelter has such a vastness of purchasable entertainment media. If anyone is going to NY next year, this is one attraction which won't be there any more as they are closing down, the landlords of the building hoping to attract a client who can pay a higher rent, probably lawyers or some expensive consultancy bullshitter who resells their 'advice' to corporations who should know better.

Other features of the day include lots of street performers, including an outfit performing a selection from "Now that's what I call Simon and Garfunkel's greatest hits part 3".

Also there was a preliminary search for the wedding rings to bind the couple together, where we sort of ended up at the jewellers where they got the original engagement ring. This preliminary search for "The Preciousss" was not successful, but a follow-up trip where Nicky and I revisited some of the Times Square haunts, and Felice and Danie were left to get on with things by themselves finally succeeded.

Somewhere, a Starbucks pit-stop got in, which was initially a standing room only experience, but gradually and grudgingly, seating space became available. Part of the daily Manhattan routine we discovered, was managing an uneasy balance between liquid intake, and getting rid of it in a timely fashion! Walking was thirsty work.

We got back at a reasonable time, that is, whilst there was still some daylight around, retracing our steps, conscious of protesting feet.

One of the useful features of the Beacon Hotel is that the rooms come with a kitchenette with sufficient facilities to make doing the cooking thing possible. The next useful feature is that just across the road, four lanes of busy Broadway, there is a supermarket with lots of new and exciting things to try, so we head over there to gather foodstuffs for the evening, rather than go out to eat again. The store has the ambience of when supermarkets were first invented in 1960 or thereabouts, and it is a busy and packed 'pile 'em high' location. Nevertheless we manage to get sufficient goodies, and also stock up for breakfast the next morning.

The third useful thing about the Beacon is, there is an off-licence, for the sale of alcohol, just a few doors down from the hotel, so we make a stop there too for some even more essential supplies.

The rest of the evening passes with pasta and wine, and desultory plans for tomorrow, as tiredness overtakes us. Back in our room, I manage a nightcap of some not often seen Gold Bacardi rum 'n coke to help with the sleep thing. Simple tiredness does the rest.

Saturday..

Again we arise slowly, it is a gloriously sunny day, but with more of that stiff breeze we encountered yesterday. We meet up in the girls room, and conduct a leisurely breakfast from our pre-purchased supplies, then once more to face the world outside.

So we head off to Times Square to pick up the regularly stopping Gray Lines tour buses for part one of our ride around Manhattan. It is whilst we are in the queue there, that Felice has a close encounter with a street performer who is making random rapping lyrics about the unfortunate people that he doorstops. Felice is chosen as the random victim out of our party, as the street artiste somehow manages to make something up with the word "Cambridge" in it. Shortly afterwards, we board the next tour bus with some relief.

We booked up for a more wide-ranging tour of the rest of the Manhattan district, with a free bus ride around Brooklyn as well. The Gray Line tours were selling an open 48 hour ticket where you could use as much or little of the open-topped tour buses as you wished, getting off where you felt like, which is exactly what we went and did over the next few days.

The rough plan is to ride around as much of Manhattan as possible. We do have the best part of three days to accomplish this mission, and make good progress in a southerly direction. The photographic record for that day is pretty good, and shows lots of exterior shots of places like the Empire State Building (of which we will be seeing the inside of in a few days!). Our travels take us to the financial district, and we get off near Wall Street, in order to take a look at the World Trade Center site.

The World Trade Center site is a busy place, the site itself is (mostly) screened off from public view, and there is a good deal of building activity going on there. Apart from the horrible circumstances of the original demolition, it looks like any other building site where clearance work is going on, prior to reconstruction. Of course, it isn't just any ordinary building site, as the heavy tourist activity surrounding it testifies. There is quite a bit of information in the surrounding area to remind you of that. There is even the obligatory "9-11 was an inside job! (ask me why?)" protester, who is possibly a semi-official tourist attraction, but then again, probably not!

The concrete barrier surrounding the WTC site isn't completely impervious to morbidly curious outside viewers, as several people are taking photo's through holes and gaps in the concrete.

There is a good 9-11 museum, so we make our way to that next. The museum is rather effective at conveying the whole 9-11 experience. It starts with the WTC history before, so that the World Trade Center isn't shown as just another anonymous building, and the sense of loss is heightened as a result. The multimedia element includes relics pulled from the rubble, including a burnt and buckled but still recognisable aircraft passenger window. There is a collage of personal photographs of all the victims, plentiful amounts of artwork in general, a room tiled with hand-painted tiles from children around the world, and a final area with visitor's thoughts recorded on cards, with some graphically superior efforts included. Afterwards, we felt that the WTC site was well worth the visit, even now it has been some years after the event.

We head back in the vague direction of Grand Central Station, where we end up, and spend a few minutes in the tunnels and labyrinths there as my pictorial record shows.

It is very late afternoon by then, and as an early birthday treat for me, the plan is to stop and eat at a place at the street level of the Empire State Building called the Heartland Brewery. This is a steak and burger kind of place, and their portions, like Arties, are American-sized, which I don't mind at all! They also have New York Cheesecake which may well be something like the authentic recipe.

As subsequent leg-pains and complaints of the female variety confirmed, we're overdoing the walking today, as there is a detour via Madison Gardens to look for a cat show that wasn't open yet on Felice's behalf, and a bookstore got in there too. By the time we get back to the hotel after even more walking, Nicky and Danie are visibly struggling to put one foot in front of the other. We collapse back at the hotel. It is very firmly decided, there and then that from tomorrow we use the subway!

Sunday..

The lesson about overdoing things was learned, and the first thing we do after breakfast is to get travel card style subway tickets that cover the rest of our stay in New York. The nearest station is but a hundred yards or metres from the hotel, which is handy.

When we get back to Times Square, we're back on the bus, with several stops and changes for different reasons, the tour coverage is pretty damn comprehensive. We strike out initially in a southerly direction to Wall Street, Battery Park and Chinatown, taking in the financial district, the harbour area, and a sleepy looking United Nations building, then head north to Harlem, passing through the wealthy uptown Central Park districts on the way. The structurally distinctive Guggenheim museum is shrouded in scaffolding and plastic, so a major photo opportunity was lost there. All the guides are at great pains to point out how much safer and non-scary New York is now, (say compared with the eighties heyday of shows like Hill Street Blues, but then again, there were no bus tours going 'off Manhattan' to places like the Bronx!)

Another memorably oversized lunch is enjoyed at a place called Roxy's Deli somewhere on Times Square, the "me-sized portions" are appreciated!

One of our later diversions takes us back to Grand Central Station to locate another eatery popular with Felice and Danie during their last visit, which is a place called "Hale and Hearty Soups". Unfortunately, by the time we get there, it is fairly late and they have run out of their souplike potions. So we opt for sharing a chinese in the subterranean eating space instead. (Not to mention a bottle of drink which got donated in a shattering accidental fashion to the floor!)

Whilst using a 'comfort stop' afterwards in Central Station, I get to witness a piece of worrying street theatre, with the NYPD in action in an open toilet cubicle, as there were four cops 'taking down' a 'perp'. A police dog was helping, which incentivised the steady flow of comfort-seeking traffic to use the facilities and leave as quickly as possible!

The night tour bus retraces the southerly half of our earlier daytime touring, with the additional bonus of a brief trip across the river into the Brooklyn district. There is an unexpected bonus on the return run, in the form of a firework display taking place on an adjoining bridge, or as the guide put it "This would normally cost a million dollars, but you get it for free, welcome to New York!" This night excursion was quite different from Felice and Danie's initial experience from February the year before, when blizzards threatened to cancel and overwhelm it.

As today has been spent mostly sitting down, no-one has tired legs at the end of it...

Monday..

Arise from your slumbers, and consider this!

Today marks something of a step-change from our previous easy-going encounters with New York and its diverse attractions. There is wedding related business in the air, for today we meet with Michelle, the Virgin holidays wedding co-ordinator in the morning. She duly arrives mid-morning, a bubbly Afro- American lady, who is here to discuss the arrangements for the big day thus far, and also attend to some of the dull, grinding, but necessary bureaucracy surrounding it.

Apart from the fact that we had previously decided on using the subway from here on to take the pressure off weary feet, this is needed as our next destination is City Hall, where Felice and Danie need to get their marriage licence. The subway speeds us further and faster to the area of Manhattan containing City Hall to sort out the paperwork for Felice and Danie's date with destiny. From the outside, City Hall is very imposing, sort of Gotham City Hall impressive, and we expected to see Batman rescuing the mayor from the Joker, or some such happening. Inside, after a bored security check, it is just like any other local government office anywhere in the world. There must be some central body which regulates how drab and tired the decor of these places should look!

There are quite a few other people on the same sort of mission, judging by the 'young and obviously in love couple' numbers waiting in the queue. After half an hour or so, with Michelle in the background, the business of the day is concluded, and we go our separate ways, Michelle to whichever other wedding she is pushing along slowly to completion, ourselves to resume our explorations of New York.

So it's back downtown to hop onto the Brooklyn tour bus, in order to wring the reluctant last drops of time out of our 48 hour tour bus open tickets. It is very sunny at this point, the stiff breeze that kept us company over the early days has dropped, apart from a memorable few minutes when we were crossing the East River to Brooklyn, where yes, it was very refreshing, thanks! Brooklyn does not tempt us to get off and explore, as the expiry on the tour bus tickets is ticking loudly, and if we're not off by midday, then we stand a real chance of all turning into Pumpkins!

There is another reason for our haste, as we are due to meet with Felice's relatives (mother, aunt, and other) in the Grand Central Station eatery area we explored the previous day. This time, 'Hale and Hearty Soups' are fully operational and have lots of soup-like substances to hand. We were talking large containers full of exotically combined ingredients, and plentiful amounts of bread to go with them. The combination of food and the unorthodox venue is something of a success and that meeting goes well.

Afterwards, we go our separate ways. There is a vague notion of further souvenir shopping which takes us to the Hershey store on Times Square initially for the chocohol fix. We also spend some time in a greeting card shop, boggling at the sheer, erm, diversity of subject matter there. Apart from the cheesy Americana of "Bosses day" (16th October, if you're feeling very sycophantic to your own boss), the 'Cards for Unique Needs' section yields up such gems as "Thinking of your miscarriage", "Busy times (to child)", with "Menopause" and "Divorce" next to something called "You can do it"(!)

We return to the hotel and another fix of home cooking and supermarket sweeping around which sort of finishes off the day nicely..

Tuesday..

For Tuesday, the other parties concerned with the wedding have all turned up by now, so pre-match meetings with these folk have been arranged. As we have completed the meeting and greeting side of things with Felice's relatives yesterday, today is the turn of Danie's 'people'.

For Danie's relatives, we are expecting these at the hotel in the morning, so after breakfast, there is a little bit of effort to make sure the room is tidy(ish), or at least not let it stay looking like we've just had a long drawn-out and chaotic breakfast. They are staying in something more expensive downtown, duly arrive at the appointed time by taxi, deliver certain items important to the success of the wedding, (things that the happy couple will need to wear for instance!) and lubricated by the normal pleasantries, it all goes well. They leave, an hour or so later, which still leaves a few hours to kill downtown before uneasily heading to bed to contemplate tomorrow (Felice that is, not me!)

So we opt for a more leisurely exploration of some of the other shops and attractions that were missed the first time around. A few more humourous pictures are grabbed with the mobycam, including what looked like a toy dog abattoir's display window, but disappointingly, a close-up examination revealed it was nothing more than a fancy handbag shop! A thorough exploration of a bookstore finds a book cover which is pouetesque in its choice of subject matter. "Moondog, the Viking of 6th Avenue" Or as the blurb goes on, "Moondog is one of America's great originals. He is an awesome figure whose horizons are vast." (New Yorker magazine). So nothing that Erik would disagree with there?

We wander around Bloomingdales store for a while. This visit does take in ALL of the floors of that department store. It does not translate into any retail therapy for the ladies among us, even though some of the prices were very reasonable, (some were very expensive though!) It is quite late by the time we finish there, although there is no sign of it closing in 'The city that never sleeps'.

There is a planned trip to a retail park called Woodbury Common on the day after the wedding. So we book tickets for that, I think?

The evening repast consists of a traditional New York Pizza, purchased from a traditional pizza restaurant on Broadway near the hotel, so more of that demo party ambience is brought to New York, but with no computery stuff of any description, no half-drained bottles of Grolsch, no Defjam accidentally switching off my power supply before I had managed to save the last chunk of text from my realtime party report, no repeated playings of 'H-Demo IV' on the big screen, you get the picture? But there was champagne with the pizza, which sort of made it back up for us!

I'm not sure what happened after, not a lot I don't think, but a picture of Danie, Nicky, and Felice taken in one of the hotel bedrooms, later on that evening shows everyone in a zombified and brain-smashed state lying on the king-sized bed, so it must have been knackering?

Wednesday..

Today is a day bright with promise, shining with destiny, for today is the day of 'Teh Wedding!'

If Felice is nervous, he gives no sign of it, not just yet anyway. The first order of business, as ordained by Danie, is a revisit to Arties for breakfast, on the grounds that will be the one meal that she can manage to eat on what will be a very stressful day before her stomach ravels itself into a very tight thing indeed. Being Arties, I order for one, and get enough for two to eat as usual, so I manage to 'double up' (hem!) To digress on the subject of bulk management, yes we ate very well when we dined out, on the other hand we managed to make some meals ourselves in the room, and there was more than enough walking around to sweat the food off again!

As the big happening is not due to take place until 16.00hrs, the progress to Felice's marital destiny is a leisurely one. So we get dressed in our suited finery, make sure there is nothing untidy attached to said finery and so on...

My job as best man is to make sure Felice is properly turned out. Also to safeguard the rings, and to get him in one piece to the Empire State Building, after which, other more competent people will take responsibility for him! Until then, it is fair to say I am feeling a more than a little bit Frodo-like (Preciousss!)

About an hour before the wedding is due to kick off, I judge that Felice and I are ready, so go to wait in the hotel lobby downstairs. Michelle arrives shortly after and is pleased to see that we're in good order and ready to go. Leaving the girls behind to their undoubtedly more complex dressing up procedures, we are whisked in a yellow cab to the Empire State in good time. Well, fairly good time, as the traffic is backed up around Madison Avenue due to roadworks, which are having an impact on everything in the surrounding area. The cab driver does a great job of finding any possible gap in the traffic, even where none ought to have existed under currently understood laws of time and space, and gets us there more or less on time.

At the entrance to the Empire State, some people have been forewarned of our arrival, so we manage to skip the security checks and I use the spare minutes to pose Felice in the Empire State lobby for more photo- opportunities. It was a unique offer, never to be repeated, Felice in a smart suit! Then we are sped in the impressively quick elevators to the 55th Floor where the chapel for 'Ultimate USA Weddings' is located.

We tiptoe in, and most of the wedding party are already there. It is a very hot day, even with air conditioning running, and we are wearing formal suits. There are a number of bottles of champagne provided for pre-kick off refreshment, and these are heavily leaned upon at this point. In the lull before the vow-exchanging storm bursts across Manhattan, I add to my photographic records with several promising shots taken from the window of the landscape below. At least one wedding day tradition is being maintained, that of the lateness of the bride. Danie and Nicky have use of a limo to get them here, but that car is rather big and the central part of Manhattan is somewhat gridlocked...

Now we're quoting from the wedding blog of the Danie. to get another set of views on this life-changing day for Felice....

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We made it to the ceremony at the Empire State 20 minutes late, thanks to the traffic. By which time everyone who should have been there was, including my godmother and her friend who had managed to leave the instructions for finding the suite and all the contact numbers on the dresser back in England!

The Reverend was a very laid back, very smart, middle aged lady who put on the buttonholes for the boys and kept me out of sight until everyone was positioned.

The ceremony was another 20 minutes, very simple, background, readings, vows and closing.

That was it! Eventually made an honest man of this fellow at last...

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The deed is done... Felice experienced a momentary return of an old speech problem when he got to the crucial 'point of no return' bit of his vows, but overcame them long enough to complete that most emotional journey of his life.

Relief is the dominant reaction afterwards, more champagne, wedding cake, and congratulations are shared around, then it is time for a few speeches. Oh lucky Felice, it is the best man's speech up first. I totter a razor-thin wire of sharing some of the more interesting parts of Felice's life story so far, whilst avoiding plummeting into a petrol and crocodile filled burning pit of parental disapproval if I were to include too much detail. But I manage to avoid this fate. Speeches from Felice and Danie's father also get in that part of the day as well.

Felice and Paula post-ceremony..

After a mercifully briefer than normal post-wedding photographic posing orgy by the wedding photographer, We gather downstairs to depart for the reception at a restaurant called 'Tavern on the Green' in Central Park. The limo includes me and Felice in the passenger list this time, and there is some relief that the hardest part of today has been met and killed.

(From Wikipedia)

"The restaurant is located in New York City's Central Park at Central Park West and West 67th Street on Manhattan's Upper West Side. It was originally the Sheepfold that housed the sheep that grazed Sheep Meadow, built to a design by Calvert Vaux in 1870. It became a restaurant as part of a 1934 renovation of the park under Robert Moses, New York City's Commissioner of Parks. In 1974, Warner LeRoy took over the restaurant's lease and reopened it in 1976 after $10 million in renovations. Since LeRoy's death in 2001, it has been managed by his daughter, Jennifer Oz LeRoy."

"Tavern on the Green is known for being frequented by numerous prominent actors, musicians, politicians, and writers."

Going on a bit further, the restaurant itself has been in a few films, Ghostbusters was one.

We didn't see any prominent actors, musicians, politicians or writers that evening, they were probably taking cover when our party got going later on, but there were several waiting horse-buggies, which was our next destination. As part of the wedding package, a horse-buggy ride around Central Park was featured. There is even an excerpt of this ride camcordered, with Danie chatting in the background. It is three-quarters the way in to darkness by then. We arrive back at the restaurant, the rest of the visiting party haven't arrived yet so we start ordering expensive cocktails to relieve the waiting. This does the trick nicely, as the rest of the party gradually start to trickle in.

The meal takes place around a table of arthurian roundness and largeness. Several courses with plentiful amounts of wine appear. Their chicken with parmesan coating was delicious. As the evening wore on, the air of celebration got a little more, erm, emphatic, with Felice's aunt getting very friendly with anyone who came near her. At the same time, the bride was having difficulty keeping her eyes in one place, so we could tell it was getting near the end!

We leave The Tavern on the Green a brief ten minutes worth of wobbling home in a dreamy state follows, for some people, not me, back to the hotel. At this point, we're not quite sure if everything came back with us?

BED!!!!

Thursday..

There was a very slow start, no-one was in any hurry for anything. The single pre-planned happening was a bus ride to a place called Woodbury Common. We don't get around to tackling this until mid-afternoon, where we wander to the Port Authority bus terminal for the hourly service there.

The journey takes about an hour, starting with an urban NY scene, gradually turning to miles of identical looking suburban strip development, then we get into the foothills of the Catskill mountains, something wilder looking for a time, until we get to Woodbury Common.

(From Wikipedia, damn, this report writes itself!)

"Woodbury Common Premium Outlets, is an outlet center located in Central Valley, New York. The center is part of the Chelsea Premium Outlets group and takes its name from the town in which it is located. Opened in late 1985, expanded in 1993, and again in 1998, the mall now has 220 stores occupying more than 800,000 square feet (72,000 m²) and is one of the largest contiguous outlet centers in the world. Due to its size, different areas are color coded to help visitors orient themselves, on weekends trolleys are available to transport shoppers from the parking lots and around the mall."

"Due to its proximity to New York City, Woodbury Commons is a major attraction for foreign tourists visiting the region."

There are a lot of shops, it is especially keen for clothing retailers and factory outlets, something which Felice and Danie enjoy. There are some hideously expensive designer labels, even at factory prices, on the other hand, there are some real bargains too. There is no way we are going to be able to cover it all at once, but they have a pretty good attempt.

We catch the last but one bus back and return quite late.

Friday and return home Saturday..

Friday is the sort of day where the expectation of departure home hangs heavily (for me and Nicky), or preparations for the honeymoon in Anaheim (Felice and Danie) take place. Apart from that, there is nothing else planned. I'm pretty sure a final Arties got in there at some point? Danie and Felice decide to pay one last visit to Times Square in case there is anything they missed after their umpteenth visit there already. Nicky and I opt to take it easy in the hotel. This is a decision confirmed by the first rainy weather since we arrived at JFK the previous week, so we're not so bothered about going out in it.

We get back together for a last meal at a local Hale and Hearty Soups place. There is an undercurrent of discontent from the bride about stuff that may have gone missing at the Tavern on the Green in the chaotic and poorly recalled final stages of the evening. (Most of this ultimately turned up with Danie's parents.) We get back to the hotel to our respective rooms, Nicky and I to try to get some sleep as we are due to depart at an unfeasibly early hour.

So it is on the Saturday morning that I am hailing a yellow cab from outside the hotel at around 02.30hrs. One stops within 30 seconds, so this is truly the city that never sleeps. We arrive back at JFK, unencumbered by traffic, way too early. A huge amount of waiting around which characterises the modern international travel experience then follows, until we are eventually allowed onto our beardy airways return flight, the DHS security person complimenting me on my choice of hand luggage on the way through, which was nice of them.

At least this time, Nicky and I manage to get seats together, the journey back is a reverse-rerun of the one going in, apart from the storm-tossed landing, which we didn't get at Heathrow. The taxi-driver who took us to Heathrow through several cunning back roads is there to meet us, and he gets us back to Danie's parents place with customary efficiency. This is still deserted as they hadn't got back home yet, taking a few more days in the USA to check out some other random tourist attractions. So I climb into my waiting carriage of Fiat and go home.

So that was the story of Felice getting married. At the time of writing (23.6.08), Danie has not killed Felice!

CiH, for Alive Mag, June '08. - Relocated to the Mag in 2012..

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